Each year at the Banquet Reception,
The limericks are less than perfection.
    But in the past
    It's been a blast
And this year will be no exception!

"Professor" the student did beckon,
"You've been getting creative I reckon.
    "You presented a gem,
    "At the IEDM.
"Was Jack Daniels first author or second?"

Mr. Clinton awoke from a nap,
with a sharp, biting pain in his lap.
    "Mon Dieu!" cried poor Billy,
    "It seems my ol' Willy,
"Is caught in an intern-face trap!"

When the session talks are too boring
And the chairperson is quietly snoring,
    Limericks we write,
    To win moissanite.
Inspiration and perspiration are pouring.

There was a man from Nantucket,
Who's talk was so long he should chuck it!
    By ignoring the Chair
    He inspired a glare,
And he ran off the stage to duck it.

I don't like this canned SOI pitch
Instead I will stand here and bitch!
    I'll give my own talk.
    Don't like it? Then walk!
"Doomsday" is a better "Bait and switch".

III-V’s are Doomed

Are you feeling a little bit colic
With bands that are not parabolic?
    Max offers no hope
    And so how will we cope?
Choose a hospitality-suite alcohol(ic)!

There once was a call for three-fives
For MOSFET projections to thrive.
    But the dielectric is lacking
    And research needs more backing.
So it looks like silicon will survive.

Sili-hafni-nitroxide from Hilo
Crashed the IC yields straight down to zero.
    The huge strain in the glass
    Was a pain and, alas,
Killer amps tunneled through by the kilo.

III-V, III-V, III-V, and back to silicon flow.
InGaAs, InGaAs, InGaAs, and then … I do not know.
    10 years we did III-V.
    10 years more to go.
600 Intel Ph.D.s carry my (Ge) laptop home.

The 2007 Winner

The Beauty of k

A beautiful lovely hole from high-k
Mated with a hot electron from low-k.
    It was hot carrier injection
    Without any protection.
But what came out was still OK.

On the couch

A vacancy said to the shrink
"There is a void in my life," I think
    "I will snare an electron,
    Grow old as a polaron
And retire in an interface sink."

So by the year twenty-twenty
I say "No carbon nanotubes for me!"
    I must say "nope"!
    Give me ISOTOPE
And see how rich I will be!

A lost scientist

This year at SISC, we were addressed in Theo-englese
To me, it appears all *&^%$# (Chinese)
    .zzz.zzz.
    .bzzz.bzzz.
zzz.zzz.zzz. (don't disturb, please)

0 and 1...

0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1.
1 0 0 1 1 0 0 1.
    0 0 1 0.
    1 1 0 1.^*
1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1!

^*Editor's note: Apparent SEU in the least-significant bit.

The 2006 Winner

Why SISC can never take place in Germany

Deutsch ist schwer - man kennt's.
Zum Beispiel "SISC": Man nennt's
    einfach nur "H"
    denn das steht ja
für "HALBLEITERGRENZFLÄCHENSPEZIALISTENKONFERENZ"

A Soiled Reputation

A limerick chair named Pat
Proved to be a rat
    He slipped town
    He wasn't around
Another failed Sematech stat!

NBTI: Not Been Tried Iet?

Your NBTI model looks sick
Your gate stacks are leaky and too thick
    Accepted you'll be
    at the SISC
Just submit a 2 page long limerick!

Hafnia talks, there were many of them
By saying this I do not condemn
    The problems are great
    I can hardly wait
To learn the answers at IEDM!

Poster 19 is missing!
What was the speaker thinking?
    Did he forget that this year SISC
    Is in Washington DC?
Maybe this is a case of early tequila drinking.

The 2005 Winner

Director's Cut (Film Noir)
After all these talks, confusion I've had
Gate stack dynamics are driving me mad
    When viewed in totality
    There's clearly duality
Nitrogen's good - except when it's bad.

Theatrical Release (Hollywood Happy Ending)
After all these talks, be happy we should
Gate stack dynamics are well understood
    Reaction - diffusion
    Clears up all confusion
Hydrogen's bad - except when it's good!

In the morning at the SISC
I drank way too much coffee.
    Just one more speaker until the break;
    Talk faster, for heaven's sake!
I can't wait, I'm going out to pee.

This year's SISC had lost it's limerick contest chair
In despair, the general chair asked Kaczer for repair
    Whoa, he said, that (f....n) shit
    To Felix you may give it!
And let him suffer to save your bloody limerick fair!

NBTI - Not Been Tested Inough

So how does the hydrogen move?
Is it random? Does it follow a groove?
    With cleverness and wits,
    And the right data fits,
Any model is easy to prove!

Intel has created the perfect nanolaminate,
A layer of metal "A" on amorphous silicate.
    Then the chairman woke me up with a start,
    I have fallen asleep after too much apple tart
It's time to see more trappy aluminate!

What? What did he say?
The mike is far from OK.
    I would venture to muse
    That it's based on premature use
Of state-of-the-art high-K!

A grant-writing PI reflected,
"My nano-grant won't be rejected."
    Yet it was turned down,
    Which made him frown,
"They 'pico' or 'femto' expected!"

Lucovsky would like to decree,
Those states are not s - they are d!
    And over a beer,
    It will become clear,
It's all due to group theory!

There once was a girl named Poly,
She wanted to mate with hi-k badly.
    Then came metal-gate,
    Quickly became hi-k's mate,
Poly disappeared unfortunately.

In lack of submissions, a former SISC laureate named Kaczer,
Got nervous his splendid limerick contest would end in "misere".
    So to boost limerick writing,
    And pretend to make it exciting,
Perversely insinuated new limerick should take the "adult" flair.

The 2004 Winner

An amorphous hi-k would be nice,
For a CMOS transistor device.
    Though crystals we fear,
    Let us all drink a beer,
We'll have work until hell turns to ice!

Hafnium was a hot topic
But defects may make us drop it
    We thought we were dead
    Till the paper said
Intel's got it in their back pocket!

There once was man from the Navy
Who spooned out funding like gravy
    After a greeting
    He'd call for a meeting
"I need a good story—please save me!"

Poster authors were pressing their luck
The two-slide rule they decided to chuck.
    They spoke really fast
    Hoping time hadn't passed
And Carl-Mikael though "Man, what the ... heck!"

We arrived at JW's dry
Thinking vin's de la France would score high
    The waiter explained
    That the wine list had changed
Perhaps something British would fly?

Waiting for SISC 2004

Pat: "Not all oxides are grown equal.
Of mine you should speak well."
    André: "What do you know,
    Pb-nought's not very low!"
All: "Now we will have to wait for the sequel."

The 2003 Winner

Trombetta Vendetta

Break after break he makes us despair
His half-witted hacks I can no longer bear.
    My entry's goal
    Is to save us all
By making me next year's Limerick chair!

Jim Stathis says "We are DOOMED"
(At 26Å, he has assumed)
    But Jim, won't you say
    That High-K will save the day?
"No way, it will all go KABLOOM!"

The session was a-boil
Hi-K results proved royal.
    But Gerry piped in,
    And quelled the din:
"Sorry - limit one foil!"

P. T. Barnum knew just how to spin it
And he left us a most useful tenet.
    To understand CREE
    And its lofty P/E
"There's a SiC'er born every minute."

Said Donelli "The Mind," there's no doubt
You are missing my point, I will shout.
    IBM will go broke
    If they ignore my smoke
Hydrogen, not hot holes, takes the chip out.

Hafnium, Zirconium, an elemental zoo
Put them together in an oxygen stew
    They all act like funnels
    After the first electron tunnels
And they all smell like poo.

In Silicon Valley, the nerd
Has forgotten the Bee and the Bird.
    What he expects
    When he thinks of sex
Is verging on the absurd !

The 1999 Winner

Hey Baby, you look gorgeous tonight
I'm beaming with Nicollian's might
    She saw my ID
    And knew about CREE
She said no "nookie" without moissanite.

Again boring papers this year
I'm almost falling asleep, oh dear!
    Can't take it no more
    I'm going next door
Where it seems to be funnier than here!

"That" ... Roadmap

A session on a strange dielectric?
With elements that are eclectic?
    Oxide replaced?
    Our Prize disgraced!
Moore's law makes our lives too hectic.

Once while a fellow was napping
Dreaming of electron trapping
    He awoke with heart thumping
    As the thought of charge pumping
Yawned, then returned to his napping!

The data on oxides is showing
That after wine has been flowing
    Like oxides we too
    Must go to the loo
Our stress-induced leakage is growing

Those dose rate effects, if you please
On linear bipolar IC's
    Thrill some men so much
    They get out of touch
And cease noting their wives' pretty knees!